Me: Well you cheated!!!
Danielle: Why?!?!?

Me: at least i'm from a different hemisphere

both: we both are

 

 

Me: hurricane isabel is supposed to be huge

Veronica Welsh: Yeah I heard its gonna be a doozy

Me: We can go surfing on the sound

 

"I have one thing to say, cars and pussy,(me and joe: are you stupid) oh wait thats two"-John

 

Brad: Steve spell your last name

Steve: S-T-E-V....wait you want my first name?

"Why don't they put silencers on the guys gun in the helicopters?" Pronie...again

 

"How would you like to suck my balls ms. platt" Bayne

 

Jake to crop: "sup bro i heard you hooked up with a guy"

 

Definition of educational conversation:

aznpimplax20: hey
SNuFFLaX22: sup pussy
aznpimplax20: come on now is that neccessary
aznpimplax20: haha nuttin bro you
SNuFFLaX22: nothing much chillen like a villian
SNuFFLaX22: fucking ur sister

 

Dr James: "Who would like to rebut dan?

class: "what the hell is rebut?"

Dr James: "to refute his answer"

John Singorile: " so who wants to reass dan?"

 

LI  vindalaxlife: im with perna
aznpimplax20: you too huh
aznpimplax20: yeah hes good in the bed

 

aznpimplax20: yeah in the book i'm reading it says marines get a lot of pussy.

aznpimplax20: WHORES LIKE CRAZY

DxKidD316: then we know deff marines

 

Eleese86: WHY ARENT I ON THE QUOTES PAGE??!

 

VWyanks51: i have no idea, i'm still a virgin
VWyanks51: i imagine it's great after the first time
VWyanks51: or first few times
aznpimplax20: YOUR A VIRGIN
aznpimplax20: that i don't believe lol jk
VWyanks51: hahahahahah do i give off the slut vibes?!
aznpimplax20: sometimes
aznpimplax20: when your wearing those spandex while running
aznpimplax20: or the short shorts during the meet
VWyanks51: hahahahahahaha

 

Mr. Casserta: Show me what you guys got.

Dennis Ricci: SHOW ME THE MONEY, SHOW ME THE MONEY JERRY

 

aznpimplax20: im out i gotta go to schizool and get layed later
GOTmaxwell 29 03: truu
GOTmaxwell 29 03: haha get layed? new boyfriend huh?
aznpimplax20: hahah fuck you

 

aznpimplax20: im typingwith chopsticks
LI  vindalaxlife: retard
aznpimplax20: fuck yuou im gifted

 

Jake: "she is the definition of suave...clap it up for the biotch"

 

pointing at dirty snow: Jake: "look its louis snow"

 

"Max what are you doing eating lent out raw in the first place"-Coach Huff

 

Me and my sister talking online after we got home from the mall, her computer is upstairs and she can hear everything and i just farted!!!

aznpimplax20: eww that one stinks
aznpimplax20: i farted
AznEyz16: eww that was way loud
aznpimplax20: you heard that
aznpimplax20: lolk
aznpimplax20: literally
aznpimplax20: you can hear me laughing
AznEyz16: yeah
aznpimplax20: ha im still laughing
aznpimplax20: ohh shit
AznEyz16: I know
aznpimplax20: im an idiot
aznpimplax20: hahaha
AznEyz16: I know
AznEyz16: Ebbbbbah

 

xTrUcCi MaMi x: friendlys is the shat
aznpimplax20: lol
aznpimplax20: shat is past tense silly
xTrUcCi MaMi x: lol nooooo

 

Eric: Good luck tonite Ralphy

 

aznpimplax20: yo i still haven't seen max
LI  vindalaxlife: brooo
LI  vindalaxlife: hes ill
LI  vindalaxlife: hes cvool now
aznpimplax20: really
aznpimplax20: cali turned him straight? ironic lol
LI  vindalaxlife: hahaha
LI  vindalaxlife: hes just like more chill and less stupid

 

aznpimplax20: have sweet dreams of me n dan
dlcutie123: hahah okay. i will.
aznpimplax20: ...not together
dlcutie123: yeah okay.

 

Sgt Martins: "Listen I'll come over and kick the shit out of your parents and force them to sign the paper and then i'll come by the next day cook  em dinner and apologize."

 

Kimi: " I can speak chinese, like the stuff from the fortune cookie"

 

Sgt Plunkett: (to me) Whatup biotch?

Sgt Martins: What you say to me?

Sgt Plunkett:  I said you got a nice ass!
(Sgt Martins hanging from the pullup bar takes one hand off and pats his ass)

 

SSgt Rodriguez: Man that girl might be the ugliest girl I've ever seen and she's got a donkey donk.

 

After the basketball game some black lady walking out to her car:

"I'm going to Kentucky Fried and Im going home"

 

aznpimplax20: yo we're sitting in the back of the room for now on
aznpimplax20: im tired of her ass hitting into my hand all the time
Reezdog2G: lol
Reezdog2G: fuckin bacon strips
aznpimplax20: LMAO
aznpimplax20: donkey donk

 

Jake: I forgot to clock in today at work and some kid pissed in our bathroom garbage can and I had to clean it.

 

LaXStAr71188: life doesnt get much worse then seeing porch monkeys fuck

 

talking about our english teacher

Reezdog2G: shes sucha dike
Reezdog2G: you know she sucks pussy on the side

Reezdog2G: lol i really hate that lady man

 

Advice from the guy i used to work with from friendlys about hooking up with fellow coworkers from friendlys:

Flix8: i told you, keep your damn mouth shut and the pussy comes runnin
Flix8: the liuder they get, the quieter you become
aznpimplax20: hows that work though
Flix8: honestly?
Flix8: i don't know
Flix8: I haven't got a clue
Flix8: but I had more women after me at that place than anywhere else
Flix8: that's really why I chose you
Flix8: someone to fight them off with a dick to keep them away from me

 

drakescakeskd5: seriuosly i just froze my balls off

 

Johnny Scarps: "He's got shit, I got shit, so just raise him!" during poker

 

"Seals can die"-Laura Odenthal interrupting while we're talking about Navy SEALS at study hall